The Offensive Tweet

3 June 2015

Vooza’s Twitter account offends everyone. Meet the man who’s responsible – and couldn’t care less.


>> Okay, I’m getting tons of emails and like, blog posts all about this tweet.
>> All I want to know is who wrote the tweet.
>> You don’t have to answer that.
>> I’ll answer the question.
>> You want to know if I wrote that tweet?
>> I think I’m entitled to that.
>> You want to know if I wrote that tweet?
>> I want the tweet.
>> You can’t handle the tweet.
>> Son, we live in a world of words.
>> Sometimes those words have to be turned into jokes.
>> Who’s going to do it?
>> Salon?
>> Huff-Po?
>> Those of us who tweet jokes have a greater responsibility
than you could possibly fathom.
>> You weep for those who are offended, and you condemn those of us who make
off color jokes because you have that luxury.
>> You have the luxury of not knowing what I know.
>> That sometimes, people getting offended,
though mildly unfortunate, is a byproduct of social media.
>> And the tweets I write, while grotesque and
incomprehensible to you, they get shared.
>> They get shared a lot.
>> So you don’t want me to apologize.
because deep down, in the places you don’t talk about at
networking events, you want me writing these tweets.
>> You need me writing these tweets.
>> And I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself
to someone who rises and sleeps under the page views I generate,
while questioning my means of generating them.
>> I’d rather you just said thank you and went along your way.
>> Otherwise, you try coming up with an original thought
in less than 140 characters, and see if it goes viral.
>> Either way, I don’t give a damn what you find offensive.
>> Did you write that tweet?
>> I did the job I was sent to do.
>> Did you write that tweet?
>> You’re god damned right I wrote that tweet!
>> Okay, because it’s doing amazing.
>> Oh, wow, that’s so good to hear.
>> Thank you so much.
>> Really good stuff.
>> All right, do you know how many re-tweets we’ve gotten,
how much traffic we’ve generated?
>> Well, there’s plenty more where that came from.
>> Please, whatever offensive stuff you want to say, bring it on.
>> You know what, see you all in the Twitterverse.

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