The Honest Kickstarter Campaign

9 April 2014

This video shows what’d happen if people told the truth about their Kickstarter campaigns.


>> So man, did you get that uh, kick-starter link I sent you?
>> Yeah, I’ve been trying my hardest to ignore it.
>> Alright, well let me bring you up to speed then.

>> Basically, I’m a terrible musician who wants to record
>> an album, even though no-one has ever told me I
>> have any musical talent whatsoever, so what I’m doing is,
>> I’m guilt-tripping everybody I know into financing my delusional dream.
>> Wow, yeah, that’s what I figured it was.
>> I was thinking though, why don’t I
>> take $50, flush it right down the toilet.
>> And get the same return on my investment.
>> Yeah, I guess you could, but I
>> don’t actually care about your feelings at all.
>> You see, I am an artist.

>> And that means I’m egotistical enough
>> to think the universe revolves around me.
>> Yeah concern is that if I give you money, it will cause you
>> to continue to pursue your silly fantasy
>> despite the fact that you’re a no-talent hack.
>> Exactly.
>> See, you are the wind beneath my wings.
>> And when I say wind I mean money.
>> And when I say wings I mean my opera
>> dub step blues fusion album I’ve been working on.
>> Now, I assume you made a very amateurish
>> video begging everybody you know to give you money.
>> You know it.
>> I bet it’s got some bad audio.
>> Oh, terrible audio.
>> Crappy lighting.
>> The worst.
>> I can’t even tell it’s me and I’m me.
>> I’m smelling some cheesy transitions, star wipes everywhere man.
>> Star wipes, star wiping, star wipes.
>> Uh, love that Ken Burns effect.
>> Yeah, so much of that Ken Burns effects.
>> I can actually do the Ken Burns effect in person ready, check this out.

>> Still going, still got it.

>> And that’s about where it locks off, but.
>> I bet you’re offering a bunch
>> of cheap perks that nobody’s actually interested in.
>> Yeah uh, if you donate anything you get a
>> free t-shirt that starts fraying right after you wash it.
>> Uh, it’s made by nine year olds in Bangladesh.
>> Well, they say they’re nine years old, we’ll see about that.
>> Check this out, if you donate $1,000 you
>> can have lunch with the creator of the project.

>> That’s you?
>> That’s me.
>> Right.
>> That won’t be necessary because we just had lunch together.
>> Oh, that’s true.
>> Well, I guess then, technically, you owe me $1000, then.
>> Technically, I paid for this lunch.
>> Right, okay.
>> Uh, $980 and we’ll call it even.
>> Is that cool?
>> Um, how about this?
>> I’ll give you some money if you promise to never bring up.
>> Kick-starter, ever again.
>> Nah, sorry man, I got too many pipelines going in the fire right now.
>> For one.
>> I don’t need to hear it.
>> I got a food truck that specializes in artisinal
>> tofu popsicles uh, I got a comic book that’s just about
>> yeast, and I got an iPod dock that also serves
>> as a can-opener, a Frisbee, and a pregnancy test, but mostly.
>> It’s a sinner block that I found.
>> Wow, God help us, that all sounds like crap.
>> Well let me just see, how’s six dollars?
>> [LAUGH]
>> Thank you very much my friend.
>> You know what?
>> Thank you for supporting the arts.
>> That is uh, very.
>> Very goodly of you.
>> Um.
>> Is there anything I can do for you.
>> As a matter of fact dude my daughter is selling these cookies.
>> You know what I’m actually gluten free
>> and I don’t give people money for things usually.
>> But uh, good luck with that though, I
>> hope they find your daughter, that’s really sad.

>> Have a good one, I guess.
>> Yeah, you too man.
>> It’s always uh, [CROSSTALK]
>> And again thank you, I really appreciate that.
>> It’s uh.
>> Yeah.
>> Cool.

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