Steve Jobs Biography

17 January 2013

Sure, Steve Jobs was a genius. But there are plenty of his tactics you should AVOID. Vooza’s CEO demonstrates.


>> Uh, what’s that smell?
>> That’s Matt.
>> You know how he gets when he reads biographies?
>> He’s reading the Steve Jobs one now, so he’s eating nothing
>> but fruit and thinks that he doesn’t have to shower anymore.
>> Hey, Matt.
>> Here’s your freshly smoothed smoothy.
>> Finally.
>> No problem.
>> You’re welcome.
>> Ugh, god, you call this a smoothy?
>> Yeah.
>> This is piece of crap.
>> Everything you’ve ever done in your life is crap.
>> All right, you know what you are?

>> You’re a bozo explosion.

>> Hey Matt, your daughter’s on the phone.
>> I don’t know who that is.
>> She’s not mine.
>> You have a photo of her on your desk.
>> Okay, you are a slime bucket who gets most of her facts wrong.
>> I’m gonna go meditate.
>> You know, Steve Jobs may have been a jerk
>> but he was also a design genius and a master motivator.
>> Maybe you should try copying some of those traits.
>> Are you a virgin?
>> [LAUGH] I don’t, I don’t know.
>> All right everyone, we’re taking acid.
>> Already there.

>> We’re all interconnected.

>> We’re all hyperlinked with each other.
>> Really, we are the web.

>> See, she gets it.

>> This is messed up.

>> Well, it’s better than the time you read the Anthony Kiedis biography.

>> The singer from the Red Hot Chili Peppers?
>> What I’ve got to give it to your momma.
>> Aw, what I’ve got, you’ve got to give it to your daughter.
>> What I got to gotta,

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