16 April 2014

Spend all day on WebMD and you’re sure to come down with something.



>> It’s in my lungs.
>> It’s going into my heart.
>> Sarah, calm down.
>> Have you been watching Grey’s Anatomy again?
>> No, I’ve been on WebMD all day.
>> Look, I have everything.
>> You have everything?
>> Yes, I have all the symptoms
>> of the West Nile Virus: fatigue, nausea, swelling.
>> That’s because you did 12 shots of tequila last night.
>> What is this?
>> This is Leukemia.
>> That is a bruise from bumping into the toilet seat again.
>> Well, this is shingles.
>> I have Hantavirus.
>> I know I have ovarian cysts, and like 50 of them.
>> Sjogrens syndrome.
>> Meningitis.
>> Bird flu.
>> Brain tumor.
>> Anthrax poisoning.
>> I know I have prostate cancer.
>> Oh no, I have scurvy!
>> Sarah, have you been drinking from the ocean again?
>> Yes.
>> But only because it give my skin that natural glow.
>> Well, just, stop doing that and you won’t have scurvy.
>> [SOUND]
>> Okay.
>> Thanks Laura.
>> Thanks for saving my life.

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