Software Development Myths
23 April 2013
>> I don’t write code.
>> I develop software.
>> If they sound like the same thing to you,
>> they’re not.
>> One’s like a five year old drawing stick
>> figures with crayon.
>> The other one’s Rembrandt.
>> Do you see any crayons around here?
>> I don’t think so.
>> Programming is thinking.
>> It’s, it’s not just typing.
>> It’s why we spend most of the day
>> just sleeping, wondering around, looking
>> out the window.
>> It doesn’t seem like we’re doing a lot
>> but, but trust me the gears are turning.
>> My workstation I have about six
>> going like right now I have online poker.
>> Moto, Hacker news, World of Warcraft,
>> there’s a video surveillance
>> set up of the lobby of the building and
>> also there’s
>> So you you got those cats, those cute
>> cats sleeping.
>> The kitten the kittens they, they fall
>> asleep they’re so adorable.
>> Some of them wear suits.
>> Before I work with any programmer, I
>> ask them the chicken question.
>> Which is, had your way, how would you
>> design a chicken and why.
>> And of course the right answer is why do
>> we need to design chickens?
>> Didn’t, didn’t God already kinda design
>> chickens for everybody?
>> And that shows you can think critically.
>> What the hell was, did you actually design
>> a chicken?
>> I’m obsessed with efficiency.
>> That’s why I’m always asking, why can’t we
>> do things faster?
>> Why is this taking three meetings instead
>> of one?
>> Why am I still sitting here talking to
>> How many questions am I gonna keeping
>> And where’s my Adderall?
>> Look, I don’t care how many years of
>> programming experience you have.
>> When I’m looking at a programmer, it’s
>> about the intangibles.
>> Zach, I want you to write me a
>> program that spits out the numbers one
>> through 100.
>> Any multiple of three, it should say fizz
>> instead of the number.
>> Multiple of five, it should say buzz.
>> If it’s three and five, it should say fizz
>> Can you do it?
>> No idea how to do it.
>> How many light sabers do you own?
>> You’re god damn hired.
>> Dude, I’m busy.
>> Buzz off.
>> [INAUDIBLE] your saber.
>> Work on that encrypting thing.
>> Okay, sure, sure.
>> I’ll do my thing, you do yours.