Chartjunk [Sponsored]

22 January 2014

Vooza’s got a new design guru and his critiques are vicious. This episode of Vooza is sponsored by WeTransfer, an online file-transferring platform that’s no hassle, no stress, and no charge.


>> There’s no such thing as information
>> overload, only bad design.
>> Some graphic designers are decorators.
>> They dress their facts up in pretty little
>> pictures.
>> I use silly little things like math and
>> discipline and rules.

>> Good design is clear thinking made
>> visible.
>> Bad design is stupidity made visible.
>> I have a finely tuned radar for stupidity
>> and I see it everywhere.
>> Everywhere.
>> Everywhere.
>> Why is my email going all crazy?
>> I just emailed you those files.
>> You can’t email files that large.
>> Come on!
>> I’m sorry, I didn’t, realize.
>> Just use WeTransfer with WeTransfer you
>> can transfer up to five gigs
>> at a time and it stays there for as long
>> as you want!
>> Emailing files that big is like, is like
>> driving a tank!
>> WeTransfer is like driving a sleek, sexy
>> racing car.
>> Vroom!
>> What is that?
>> What are you doing?
>> The sexy racing car.
>> No, you don’t, you don’t get to do
>> that.
>> I drive the fancy racing car, okay.
>> All right, what do we have here?
>> I sent you some of my ideas for
>> the site redesign, I was hoping to get
>> your feedback.

>> Classic website goobliegock.
>> Intellectually impoverished.
>> Approaching dementia.
>> This is just tragic.
>> Its too shallow.
>> Too Deep.
>> Too wide too steam punk.
>> This one doesn’t even have synchronization
>> of pathos.
>> Terrible data to ink ratio.
>> This is a chart I made of your IQ, as you
>> can see it’s rapidly approaching zero.
>> How does that make you feel?

>> I’m kinda happy that you made a chart.
>> Me too.

>> Boxes, we never use boxes.
>> Boxes reflect insecurity in design.
>> Nothing is more suspicious than boxes.
>> Chart junk.
>> If I wanted sacrin design flourishes I’d
>> pour sweet and low all over my head.

>> See?
>> Does this look like what I want?
>> Cuz it is not.
>> Does this look like how a man should be?
>> Cuz it is not.
>> Do I look like I want this?
>> Do I look like this is how I want things?
>> Does this look like what I want because
>> this is not what I want.

>> Oh, I know where you went to school.
>> You went to the birthday party
>> clown school of data visualization, that’s
>> right.
>> Where you need shiny little objects and
>> bright little colors to convey simple
>> information.
>> You know what, here.
>> Let me put on a little clown nose so you
>> feel more at home, all right.
>> Do I look like one of your teachers now?
>> Oh hey, here’s little nose for you.
>> Look, we’re back in college again.
>> Oh, here’s a little clown horn.
>> Oh, do you feel more at home now?
>> Where are your balloon animals?
>> Get your balloon animal homework out here
>> at your college.
>> Thanks for the feedback.
>> You’re welcome.

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