Apple Fanboys

29 January 2017

Diehard fans gather to watch the latest Apple product announcement.


>> That whole mock turtleneck thing.
>> Well it’s what he’s wearing on the cover of the book so.
>> I know but I feel like the full one’s more Jobsy.
>> Gentlemen it’s time.
>> The apple new product announcement.
>> Right, the Herba Buena Center for the Arts.
>> Do you know what herba buena means?
>> No. >> It’s a retina display in Aztec.
>> Quiet, quiet, alright silent mode it is about to start.
>> Silent mode.
>> Give me those stats, market share.
>> Booyah.
>> Numbers are so big.
>> What was Microsoft’s market share again?
>> Nothing like that.
>> That’s right. >> What was that Bill Gates you cured malaria.
>> Suck it.
>> Who cares?
>> [NOISE] Look at Federidi’s hair, god.
>> I have dreams about his hair.
>> I have nightmares that his hair is not there.
>> 64 bit. >> 64 64 [CROSSTALK].
>> There is a god.
>> There he is, Johnny Ive.
>> Oh man, look at that bald head.
>> It’s so minimalist.
>> Unbelievable.
>> No chips.
>> The chips.
>> No chips.
>> The chips are down.
>> Ok, colors.
>> What colors does it come in.
>> White.
>> Black, gold.
>> Goal.
>> Goal. [SOUND] >> Better battery life?
>> Better battery life.
>> Battery life.
>> Battery life.
[NOISE] >> Cut to commercial.
>> Commercial.
>> Oh my god.
>> Oh man.
>> Look at that.
>> It’s like, 2001, a Space Odyssey meets the Zapruder film, but
>> more important.
>> It’s so white, the background is, I’ve never seen anything so white.
>> It’s, it’s like you’re about to die.
>> This must be what heaven’s like.
>> Just apple commercials all day.
>> What [LAUGH] >> [SOUND] >> Oh, right, the wrapping up guy.
>> It’s over, you know.
>> It’s the end of the announcement.
>> Guess we better turn it off.
>> Yeah, right. Come on.
>> We know you’ve got one more thing.
>> Come on. >> Not falling for it this time.
>> One more thing, buddy.
[CROSSTALK] >> One more thing, one more thing, one more thing.
>> Woah, woah, woah.
>> It’s over?
>> Thank you for joining us.
>> You said there’d be one more thing.
>> There’s always one more.
>> You said there’d be one more thing.
>> He’s literally just walking away.
>> Where’s the thing?
>> This never would have happened if Steve was still alive.
>> Not if Steve was here.
>> This never would have happened if Steve was still alive, Tim Cook.
>> How could you do this to us.
>> Worst Apple announcement ever.
>> Let me get my Droid back from my mom.
>> I watch.
>> I’m sorry.
>> I’m so sorry.

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