The Perfect Engineer

Poor social skills. Loves Dr. Who. Carries a bag full of anime figurines. This guy may be the perfect coder. But does he REALLY have Asperger’s? Hmm.

Where'd you find Sawyer?
>> Steve's actually the one who found him.
>> I wonder what that story's like.
>> It was interesting.
>> [SOUND]
>> So this is the guy?
>> That's him, man, the holy grail.
The undiscovered Asperger's engineer.
>> I've read about guys like that, are you sure he's got Aspergers?
>> Yeah, man. I mean, look at him.
Clue, the guy has no social skills.
Just watch.
>> All right.
>> My notebook.
You must be interviewing for the new engineering position.
I'm Laura.
>> Launch handshake protocol.
Hold one second, two second, and release.
Nice to meet you.
>> Nice to meet you.
>> Right.
>> Mm-hm.
>> Right.
>> All right, but how do we know he's really got Asperger's?
Dude, just look at the facts, man.
The only time he ever takes a break is to get more Mountain Dew.
He wears the same clothes every day.
I looked in his bag, it's nothing but posable anime figurines.
And look, check out his resume.
>> It's just a drawing of a giraffe.
>> Yeah, I think we gotta offer him equity now.
>> All right, well let's see how the interview goes.
>> I think the interview will go very poorly.
And by that I mean-
>> Very well?
>> Very well. >> All right.
>> So who'd you say is your biggest inspiration?
>> Who Doctor, Doctor Who.
>> And how do you like to spend your free time?
>> I disagree with the whole notion of free time.
However, I think the answer you want is I enjoy logic puzzles and
board games like Settlers of Catan.
I'm offended by the question so I'll answer a different one.
This room is roughly 1112 cubic feet.
>> Not bad, do you have any hobbies?
>> Black boxing, black boxing.
>> What's black boxing?
>> When a machine runs efficiently, one need only focus on the inputs and
outputs, not on the internal, complex-
>> This guy's amazing.
>> Yeah. >> i'm going to make him an offer.
>> Do it. >> Paradoxically, more opaque and obscure-
>> Tell you what, that all sounds amazing.
How's that for an offer?
>> Need dollars, dollars, more dollars, more money.
>> Dude, give him more, give him more, give him more.
>> All right, all right.
>> Thank you, thank you, thank you.
>> How about that?
>> Thank you.
>> It's a deal? >> Sanitization.
>> [SOUND]
>> Okay, good to be clean, I guess.
So we got a deal?
>> One Mississippi, two Mississippi and release.
>> All right.
>> Thanks, man. >> [SOUND]
>> Too loud.
>> Sorry.
Just fist bump.
There you go.
>> So now that that's out of the way, why don't we talk about you and me.
I'm celebrating this new gig tonight with some bottle service at Marquis.
Why don't you come by with some friends?
We could use the arm candy.
>> I'm sorry, I thought you had Asperger's.
>> No, I faked it so they'd give me more money.
>> Anyway, dinner is at ten at I want you to keep the hair and
lose the shoes, all right?
>> Okay.
>> Hey, Laura, what's up?
>> Initiate handshake.
>> One, two, release.
>> You doing okay?
>> Can I have a raise?

Get exclusive access

➚ Join our VIP list and get exclusive access to more Vooza. Support Vooza and get great rewards.


See All