Steve Jobs Biography

Sure, Steve Jobs was a genius. But there are plenty of his tactics you should AVOID. Vooza’s CEO demonstrates.

Searchable Captions™ provided by cielo24.
Uh, what's that smell?
>> That's Matt.
You know how he gets when he reads biographies?
He's reading the Steve Jobs one now, so he's eating nothing
but fruit and thinks that he doesn't have to shower anymore.
>> Hey, Matt.
Here's your freshly smoothed smoothy.
>> Finally.
>> No problem.
You're welcome.
>> Ugh, god, you call this a smoothy?
>> Yeah.
>> This is piece of crap.
Everything you've ever done in your life is crap.
All right, you know what you are?
You're a bozo explosion.
>> Hey Matt, your daughter's on the phone.
>> I don't know who that is.
She's not mine.
>> You have a photo of her on your desk.
>> Okay, you are a slime bucket who gets most of her facts wrong.
I'm gonna go meditate.
>> You know, Steve Jobs may have been a jerk
but he was also a design genius and a master motivator.
Maybe you should try copying some of those traits.
>> Are you a virgin?
>> [LAUGH] I don't, I don't know.
>> All right everyone, we're taking acid.
>> Already there.
We're all interconnected.
We're all hyperlinked with each other.
Really, we are the web.
>> See, she gets it.
>> This is messed up.
>> Well, it's better than the time you read the Anthony Kiedis biography.
The singer from the Red Hot Chili Peppers?
What I've got to give it to your momma.
Aw, what I've got, you've got to give it to your daughter.
What I got to gotta,
Searchable Captions™ provided by cielo24.

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