Startup Translations

The Vooza team explains popular startup terms like pre-revenue, stealth mode, exposure, cookie, monetization, futurist, etc.

We're not broke.
We're pre-revenue which actually means we're totally broke.
Also you can use this in your personal life too.
I'm not single, I'm just pre girlfriend.
>> We're in stealth mode.
We're embarrassed and
ashamed of how bad our product is and desperately need more time.
Like a, a lot of time.
How much time do you have?
The product's bad.
>> I took this Buzzfeed quiz and I got.
Please help me.
I don't have anything to do.
>> Cookie, well that's a tracking device that knows everywhere you go.
Sounds cute though, doesn't it?
>> You'll get great exposure.
What someone promises you, when they don't want to actually pay you.
Yeah, why don't you go tell my landlord to start taking exposure as rent?
>> We're going to figure out monetization later.
Basically we're going to get you hooked on our service and
then just bombard you with ads later.
Who doesn't love ads?
They make the world go round.
>> Don't be evil.
So that means we are giving all of your data to the NSA.
All of it.
Everything you know.
Everything you've ever said, basically.
Every email, everything you've ever searched,
you wouldn't believe what we know about you really.
But we're not evil [LAUGH], no.
>> Futurist, professional bull shitter.
>> Entrepreneur, someone who is both unemployable and
a delusional narcissist.
>> Journalist, someone who just like searches for animated gif's and
then writes a line like, when this happens, I'm all like.
And then lets the gif do the talking.
>> We are proudly, almost defiantly geeky.
No one here understands basic social skills.

Get exclusive access

➚ Join our VIP list and get exclusive access to more Vooza. Support Vooza and get great rewards.


See All