Apple Watch (NSFW)

Learn why the Apple Watch is a complete nightmare to own and get a sneak peek at what’s next from Apple’s R&D department.

Okay so it's like so
much better because I used to check my phone like every 10 minutes and
now it's perfect because I only check my watch every five seconds.
>> What's the battery life like?
>> It's so good.
I mean I only have to charge it like 45 times a day.
>> Most watches, you don't have to charge at all.
>> I know isn't that like so antiquated?
>> How's the interface?
>> I mean it's a little bit tough because my fingers are so fat.
But I just might end up using Siri all the time anyway,
which is super convenient.
Like, hey Siri, which movies are playing near Union Square tonight?
>> I found six pet stores fairly close to you.
>> Hey, Siri, which movies are playing near Union Square tonight?
>> I found a number of public libraries.
>> Hey, Siri, which movies are playing near Union Square tonight?
>> I don't know what you mean by pharmacy toilet Alabama.
>> Hey, Siri, which movies are playing near Union Square tonight?
>> I can't provide maps and directions in Iceland.
>> You know what, Siri, screw you.
>> I made an appointment for get Ketchup Cake, Mexican prostitute.
>> Okay. Yeah do that.
This is the best part.
I can just like push a button and it sends my heartbeat to my lady.
She loves it.
Look she just sent me a voicemail.
Let's hear it.
>> I swear to God, if you send me your stupid heartbeat one more fucking
time, I'm going to file a fucking restraining order against you, okay?
How many times do I have to tell you to leave me alone.
I don't want.
>> She loves to joke around, this big kidder.
>> [LAUGH] >> She sounds cool, man.
>> Yeah, she's fun.
She's fun. [COUGH] Oh.
>> It is time to work out.
>> I have to start exercising.
>> You fat tub of lard.
>> Oh, it's been like, 12 minutes.
>> You disgust me.
>> Bye.
[SOUND]
[MUSIC]
>> Whatever.
I've got a friend over at the Apple labs and
he just got me a prototype of the new Apple cock ring, so.
[SOUND] It's got the best notification alert ever.
[SOUND] So, if you'll excuse me.
I've gotta go freshen up.
>> Please don't leave me alone with him.

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