VOOZA PROPRIETARY AND CONFIDENTIAL INFORMATION — DO NOT FORWARD
Over the past few months, we have introduced a number of great benefits and tools to make us more efficient and fun. As we all know, efficiency and fun are words that belong together. Like peanut butter and jelly. (And speaking of, we introduced artisanal PB&J in the cafeteria. The peanuts are all 100% fair trade and the jelly is from pinot noir grapes. Giddyup!)
With the introduction of initiatives like TMI, Do Stuff, and the aforementioned PB&J, we want all Vooziers to participate in our culture and contribute to the positive momentum. From one cubicle to another cubicle, from the elevator to the bathroom — I think we can all feel the energy, buzz, and digestion problems that have been spreading like a Kony video through our office. Note: This may be due to our fridge being stocked exclusively with 16-hour Energy Drinks from Slovenia.
To become the absolute best place to work, communication and collaboration will be important, so we need to be attached to each other. Literally. That is why it is critical that we are all handcuffed to one another while at work. Some of the best decisions and insights come from having your head inches away from a co-worker’s head. Speed and quality are often sacrificed when we work sitting a few feet away from one another. We need to be one Vooza, and that starts with being chained together at all times.
Beginning immediately, we’re asking all employees to handcuff themselves to a co-worker. If this impacts you negatively, you are a human being. And, for the rest of us who occasionally prefer to work a few feet away from each other, please use your best judgment in the spirit of being a faceless cog in a corporate machine.
Being a Voozier isn’t just about getting your work done, it’s about maximizing serendipitous encounters. It’s about constant interruptions. It’s about ignoring your family. That is the true Vooza experience.
Thanks to all of you, we’ve barely made any progress as a company — and the worst is yet to come.
Matthew Stillman, CEO